The Things Therapy CAN'T Fix
by kittykatchicka
Summary: Stress has finally taken over the screaming Chi-Chi... will Kinki's Freedom Therapy be able to help before she loses it? *HUMOR*
1. Kinki's Freedom Therapy

**I do NOT own DBZ**  
  
Kinki's Freedom Therapy  
  
  
  
"Uhh.four times three is uhh.well, it's ummm.12! Yeah, 12!" Gohan said while doing his homework that his mom always made him do. Every time he just wanted to quit and watch some T.V, the words that his mom constantly said to him would continually roll through his head."Gohan, do your homework or you'll never get a college degree. Don't you want to be smart and successful and get your college degree?"  
  
"Moms!" Gohan muttered to himself.  
  
"What was that dear?" Chi-chi said as she walked in the kitchen.  
  
"Um.nothing, I just said um."  
  
"Sweetie, are you having trouble with your homework?"  
  
"Yes. I hate school and homework! It totally stinks."  
  
"Now sweetheart, don't say that-"  
  
"I wanna do what daddy does mommy! He does cooler stuff than me."  
  
Chi-Chi began to panic because of her son's thought. She immediately tried to change his mind. "Gohan,"  
  
"Yes mommy?"  
  
"You need to finish your schoolwork! It is important to have a college degree because then you can do more interesting things than what your daddy does. Like you can um, get a great job with computers, or you can work at that neat sushi restaurant down the street, you can be a construction worker-"  
  
"NO MOMMY! That stuff is all boring and dumb; you can't stop me from doing what daddy does! I am a saiyan boy; it is in my blood to save the world."  
  
Chi-chi was very warmed up about the situation. She was about to explode. So she answered him in the most polite way that she could. "Gohan.YOU'RE GROUNDED FOR THE REST OF THIS WEEK! YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO DO WHAT DADDY DOES!"  
  
"But-"  
  
"NO BUTS MISTER! FINISH YOUR HOMEWORK AND GO TO YOUR ROOM! AND I DON'T WANT TO HEAR ANY MORE COMPLAINTS!"  
  
As chi-chi stormed out of the kitchen, she felt like all the screaming she did probably didn't help Gohan to change his mind about becoming what his father was. It was hard enough for her to deal with her hubby being away fighting all the time with the chance he would never return and now Gohan wanted to do that very thing.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Chi-Chi turned on the television in the living room and saw an infomercial for therapy: "Is your life a total mess? Do you need to clean it up? Well, here is your chance to do just that! Kinki's freedom therapy! A miracle in a phone call! Call 342-8965. It is that easy, you will get the chance to speak to Kinki herself and make an appointment!"  
  
"Wow." chi-chi said dreamily. "I've gotta try this out!" The phone rang and rang until an operator finally picked up:  
  
"Hello, my name is chi-chi and I have a major problem-" all of a sudden a voice recording cut her off.  
  
"Hello, you have reached, Kinki's freedom therapy."  
  
"I know I did I WAS TRYING TO TALK!"  
  
"Is your life a total mess? Do you need to clean it up? Well, here is your chance."  
  
"WHAT?!?! I JUST HEARD ALL THIS! WHY ARE YOU TELLING ME THIS AGAIN?!?!"  
  
All of a sudden, she heard a little voice come from the kitchen. "Mommy, why are you yelling at the phone again?"  
  
" I AM NOT YELLING AT THE-"  
  
"Hello?" A soft and gentle voice said on the phone.  
  
"HI, is this Kinki?"  
  
"No, it is her secretary Sabrina. Thank you for waiting for me. I am very busy right now."  
  
"Oh. I am having a problem."  
  
"When would you like to set up an appointment?"  
  
"Um.NOW!"  
  
"I am sorry, now isn't a good time. How about tomorrow at three thirty?"  
  
"But I need it now!"  
  
"I am sorry ma'am but I need it now too, but we can't all get it now!"  
  
"GEEZ! I hope Kinki is a lot nicer than you! Fine I will take the appointment for tomorrow! HAPPY NOW!  
  
"Thank you ma'am! Bye!"  
  
"Whatever. People these days." Chi-chi muttered as she hung up the phone with a smash.  
  
"SEE WHAT YOU AND YOUR FATHER HAVE MADE ME BECOME!?!? I am so low that I need a therapist who has terrible secretaries! Grrrr.. what will become of this life?!" She said to Gohan as she once again stormed through the kitchen.  
  
"Hmm.I wonder what's eating mom. Oh well! Now then. 200 to the third power is umm.."  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
  
  
PLEASE REVIEW! ( 


	2. The Appointment dun, dun, dun

**Ch.2 **

**The First Appointment**

The night turned out to be awful for Gohan as well as for Chi-Chi. Gohan spent almost the entire night finishing homework, and Chi-Chi spent the entire night tossing and turning in bed. Goku was out as usual.

As Chi-Chi lay in bed, all she could think about was her life and all of the problems that she had to deal with. She thought of how wonderful it would be if Gohan could go through his homework as fast as he went through his meals! 

"Oh well…" She sighed to herself. 

Her memory took her to when Goku was sent to the next dimension. Chi-Chi could still feel the sadness that had overwhelmed her that fateful day. She loved him to death, but had always wished he were just a normal man. 

How awful it would be if that happened to Gohan. Chi-Chi tried to crush the thought so she could go to sleep.

The next day seemed to go by so slow, since she was extremely tired from not getting any sleep. The only thing that kept Chi-Chi going was her excitement about the therapist. Something good had to come out of that... right? She looked up at the clock... it was 2:00!

"Gohan hunny?" She said while scrambling for her purse and keys.

"Yes mommy?"

"Umm…I am going to the therapist now. I will be back when all of my problems are solved, meaning I will be a while. *grumbles* I am having Bulma come over and baby-sit."

"K, mommy!" 

Chi-chi gave her son a kiss on the forehead and rubbed his head, messing up his already wild hair. "Love you hunny! BE GOOD!" She yelled as she walked out the door.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Chi-Chi sped up reaching 60 miles an hour in a 45 mile an hour zone. Fortunately for her, no police were in sight. 

As she drove up to the establishment, she slowed down noticing the size of it. Her mouth dropped open as she walked into the building. The waiting room was like a museum, with large, antique looking furniture over a plush carpet and original paintings hanging on the crème colored walls. Chi-Chi found the front desk and strode up to it.

The lady behind the mahogany wood looked up and smiled. "Hello ma'am! Can I help you today?" 

"I don't know. I am trying to decide if Kinki can help me, too. Hmmm…"

"You look like you need it" The secretary replied noticing dark circles under her bloodshot eyes. "But I bet she can help ma'am! She has helped people in some of the worst cases I have ever heard of like-" Chi-Chi cut her off not wanting to hear about other's problems, she had enough of her own to deal with.

"Stop right where you are Mrs. Secretary lady…" Chi-Chi said waving her hand in the secretary's face. "I don't want to hear about other problems. I just need mine solved first thank you very much."

"Name?"

"Chi-Chi"

"First and last please."

"Listen ma'am…" Chi-Chi began. "LET ME TELL YOU A LITTLE ABOUT MY LIFE!" The crowd sitting in the waiting room all turned to stare at Chi-Chi as she began to yell some more. "I GET OUT OF BED EVERY MORNING AT 2:00 BECAUSE I CAN'T FALL ASLEEP! MY HUSBAND IS KAMI KNOWS WHERE FIGHTING IN BATTLES, WHICH HAVE AT ONE POINT OF HIS LIFE ENDED IN DEATH FOR HIM! MY SON WON'T CONTINUE IN HIS STUDIES BECAUSE ALL HE WANTS TO DO IS WHAT "DADDY DOES"! MY LIFE FROM NOW ON IS A COMPLETE DISASTER AND YOU ARE ASKING ME WHAT MY LAST NAME IS?!?! WHY, I CAN'T EVEN REMEMBER WHAT BREAKFAST WAS THIS MORNING MUCH LESS MY LAST NAME!" Chi-chi had to stop and take a breather before she passed out completely.

"Okay ma'am." The secretary said stuttering in fear of Chi-Chi. "Right this way." The once perky secretary quickly stood up and showed Chi-Chi to one of the rooms. "Wait here…p-p-please. Mrs. Kinki will be right with you."

Chi-Chi crossed her arms, very proud at her progress. "Now that's more like it!" 

She got more comfortable in her chair as she waited for the "doctor". She finally heard some voices outside the cracked door.

"Mrs. Kinki, umm…this one may need help beyond you." The secretary said.

"No I think I can handle it." Mrs. Kinki replied.

"Watch out though!"

Mrs. Kinki turned around. "For what?"

"That woman can scream!"

"I will check it out and if it seems too difficult…well, I know a few doctors that can maybe help." Mrs. Kinki soothed.

A tall woman with dark hair in a loose bun professionally strode in the room. She had a beautiful smile and wore a blue conservative dress.

Chi-Chi watched her and smiled, "Are you an angel?.." 

The therapist smiled. "No, not even close, but I do think I can help you." She paused and looked over her board. "So tell me a little about yourself."

Chi-Chi frowned. "I'd rather not."

"Well, I want to help you so badly Mrs.…."

"Chi-chi is my name and can I call you Kinki?"

"Yes you can Chi-Chi. Well, we are off to a good start! I know your name now!" She said with a laugh.

"Oh Kinki…Poor naïve Kinki. You don't know half of what you're getting into."

_::MEANWHILE::_

Gohan sat at home studying like always, while Bulma was talking on the phone with all sorts of people.

"Hey Mrs. Bulma?" Gohan asked as his stomach grumbled, yearning to be filled.

Bulma looked over at the young boy, "Hold on a second Jack." She covered the mouthpiece of the phone. "What is it Gohan?"

"Well…I am real hungry. Uh, can I have uh-"

"We'll order a pizza." Bulma said as she cut Gohan off and got ready to start talking on the phone again.

"But Mrs.Bulma, I don't want a-"

"WE'LL ORDER A PIZZA GOHAN!!!" Bulma yelled blowing Gohan into the next dimension!

"Fine, Geez! Mommy always makes a good dinner for me not some unhealthy greasy pizza!"

Gohan didn't want pizza... it looked like the only thing he could do was make dinner for himself. He closed his schoolbooks and snuck into the kitchen, which Bulma didn't even notice. 

"Now lets see…Um…Ah ha!" Gohan said while looking through a recipe book his mommy always used. "This should be easy…piggies in a blanket with hmmm…white rice, and applesauce and ummmmm…frog-leg stew! YUMMMY!" Gohan excitedly gathered up all the ingredients he would need to create this divine dinner.

He looked in the large refrigerator, which was specially designed to hold enough food for Gohan and Goku at all times, to see what was inside. Quickly he grabbed out some hot dogs, some frozen frog-legs they had stored for only special occasions (considering the amount of "Ching-ching" they were!) the young man also grabbed out frozen peas, some carrots, celery and leftover gravy that was used in a frog-leg stew two weeks ago.

"This will do." Gohan said as he poured everything on the counter. Then he looked in the pantry to find flour, sugar and salt. After he retrieved everything he needed, he began to mix and combine it all together.

_::BACK AT THE PSYCHIATRIST'S OFFICE::_

Chi-Chi wiped her eyes. "And that is why I just feel like a terrible mother Kinki…I just don't know what to do! And that is only half the problem-"

"Excuse me Chi-Chi, but let me get this all straight…" Kinki interrupted.

"Ok..."

"You want your son to study because you really want him to be accepted into a good college right?"

"Correct"

"But you feel like a bad mom cause he doesn't want to study. You feel like it is your fault."

"Uh, huh."

"And he always wants to do what his dad does and what is that."

Chi-Chi sighed heavily. "Well…his dad is a Saiyan. And he was almost killed once and I don't want him to become like that."

Mrs. Kinki's brow wrinkled in confusion. "Oh…um, okay…"

"What are you trying to get at?" Chi-Chi said angered.

"Well, you may need help beyond me for this kinda thing."

"WHAT?!?!!!???"

The therapist put her hands up, surrenderly. "Now calm down-"

"NO! ON THE COMMERCIAL IT SAID-AND-"

"Yes I know what the commercial said Chi-Chi, but this is very serious and you may need a lot more help than what I could give you."

Chi-Chi stood throwing her arms up, "YOU THINK I HAVE GONE MAD DON'T YOU? YOU THINK I AM LYING! WELL THEN, I GUESS I WILL LEAVE! I WILL NOT RECOMMEND YOU TO ANYONE!" Chi-Chi stormed out of the building making sure that everyone knew she had just left. 

Mrs. Kinki stood there with her eyes wide watching the crazy woman speed her car out of the parking lot and.... what was that? OH NO!

Hope you liked it! Please REVIEW!


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